The Irony

Ohhhhhhhh—

Be juuuuust the right shade of light and dark
With natural hair that looks like weave
Or weave that looks like it’s your natural hair
Be ambitious at work but domestic at home
Honest but not direct
Smart, but not smarter than you
And never smart enough to see through you
Beautiful, but not in a way that outshines you
A workhorse who doesn’t try too hard
Be over 18 but look forever 21
Be a contender but not a threat
Be an asset but don’t ever expect reciprocity
Have a lot to offer but be willing to accept the least and last
Curvy but only in the right places
Strong enough to hold you down but ready to also be your doormat
Holy but down for whatever
A “real” woman, but not the kind with periods
Or empty wombs
A perfect lady but a ‘round the way girl
Well-dressed but not materialistic
Speak up but don’t be outspoken
Assert yourself but wait your turn
Get paid but, you know, not in an equitable manner
Of childbearing age but not with too many children or baby daddies
Independent enough not to ask for your financial support but submissive
Desired and desirable but not for the streets
Eloquent but careful of how we talk to you
Pro-Black but not militant
Refined but God forbid bougie
Down to earth but definitely not country or ghetto
Available but never thirsty
Untouchable but not frigid
Well-maintained in an effortless way…but not high maintenance of course
Well-read and awake but not vocal or opinionated
Ready to lead as long as you go first or determine the vehicle, destination, direction and speed
Equal
but
not…

Got it.

Thanks
but
no thanks.

Mood.

When Magic City Classic week is about to be on deck and your outfits aren’t quite cooperating…

Just me? Oh, ok.

Back to Basics

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Here we go again.

The wake up call was sitting down and realizing the entire back seam of my skirt had split. At work. (No, I don’t work from home.) Try easing out of a public space with your backside barely covered! Not chic.

I fell off the Get Fit bandwagon due to over-extending myself and not prioritizing my health, but am getting my life and getting after it again. Walking, spinning, lots of water, portion control and eating clean (or my variation of that) are back in my routine these days. Next week I’ll begin shredding (third time’s the charm!), and I’ll try to spare you the agony. But this time I’ll share the results; that will keep me honest.

Quitters never win, right?

Xo,
Alexis

I don’t sweat; I sparkle

Pray for me.

Pray for me.

Jillian Michaels is my new BFF. We have a love-hate relationship: she loves to torture me in the name of exercise, and I hate every minute of it…until those endorphins kick in. At the end of this “strength/cardio/ab” circuit workout, combined with sensible eating (guess who’s keeping a food journal via My Fitness Pal?) and alternating lunchtime walks and stair climbing with visits to the gym (and tracking my progress with the Nike+ Running app), I better see real results or she’s getting kicked to the curb.

I checked this DVD out from the local library (because I’ve been burned before – ahem, Abs of Steel), and It. Is. Kicking. My. Butt. Which is probably a good thing. I’m not craving Cokes (as much), and water never tasted so good.

Lessons learned thus far?
1. Make small changes to your diet and build on that, and be sure to incorporate a cheat day. As in ONE cheat day. Don’t beat yourself up when you start craving steak and cupcakes…because when you work out, you’ll definitely feel hungry!
2. Just do it. It’s not fun or cute to sweat this hard, but neither are heart disease, diabetes, or a muffin top. Lace up your sneakers and get after it.
3. The 30 Day Shred is a 20 minute workout. Who can’t find 20 minutes to devote to getting healthy? If shredding is not for you then power walk, roller skate, join a Zumba class…just do something that will make you break a sweat.
4. My upcoming class reunion was motivation enough for me, but build in rewards so that you have something to look forward to.
5. Have epsom salts on hand. You’re going to need them.

I’d post “before” pictures but the interweb really doesn’t need to see my tummy.

Are you on #teamtwopiece, or are you making an effort to increase your fitness level? Leave a comment in the comment box! Let’s encourage each other.

*I’m many things, but doctor, nutritionist, and personal trainer didn’t make the cut. I’m not offering or claiming to offer any professional advice; I’m sharing my own experience. Get checked out by a professional before you start any weight loss or fitness plan, and proceed with care.

Image via Wal-Mart

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