Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Yes, this was a debate 50 years ago. Apparently it still is today.
I really have struggled with writing this post. I can’t believe that in 2015 people of color still have to insist on their humanity, much less their beauty. But. In a few short months our hair and facial features have been pointedly insulted in mainstream media. No, we actually don’t all look alike. However, I say “our” because the deep shade Giuliana Rancic threw at Zendaya Coleman and Univision anchor Rodner Figueroa’s disgusting remarks about the First Lady of the United States (!!!) reflect how some individuals see women of color as a whole: as jokes at best…and as animals at worst. Giuliana has apologized, and Figueroa has been dismissed, but what has really changed? Especially when individuals in fraternities like SAE are so comfortable with their racist beliefs that they sing them to the high heavens?
I had hopes for the younger generation until a well-dressed, well-educated young lady said – in my presence and without a touch of shame or irony – “One of my best friends is Black, and he’s completely normal.” The truly sad part is I think she honestly perceived this comment as being complimentary and progressive.
I don’t know what we do about these things. I don’t know how we change them, or if we ever can. But I will keep churning out posts that affirm our beauty and our style. Having transitioned to natural hair, I make it a point for girls and young women to see my real hair so they hopefully get the message that unapologetically embracing whatever makes you, you is important. And we have to keep calling out people who err, educating where we can and forming a serious prayer circle for those we can’t reach. There will always be someone who is so wrapped up in their own biases, “-isms,” issues and/or stupidity that they won’t recognize the exquisite, inherent beauty in our varied physiques, complexions and features. But that doesn’t mean we have to absorb or accept those beliefs.
Thanks, Deidra!
Do you have a fairy godsister? Deidra K. Perry is one of mine. She simply must be, because every time I need a little nudge, a friendly reminder or a boost, this dynamic mover and shaker swoops in and gives me word of encouragement. It’s almost gotten ridiculous, because how on earth could she know when I need it? I’m grateful.
Dear reader, I’m sharing this nugget with you because whether you wear an actual crown or not, I know I’m not the only one who needs this. Print it, put it on your fridge or bathroom mirror or make it your screensaver and don’t forget it!
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We have TWO winners for our Towne & Reese giveaway: Clair McLafferty and Erica Bunker! If you love the chic, easy pieces from Towne & Reese, come sip and shop with Same Chic Different Day *tomorrow* evening during Girls Night Out at Belk/The Summit! Almost everything in the store will be 20% off!
Xo, Alexis
#WCW
I have never posted a “Woman Crush Wednesday”… but who better to start it off with than my mother, the woman I admire most? And, if truth be told, the woman who has influenced me most, from my style and work ethic to my love of classic movies and Twilight Zone marathons?
I recently had the privilege of interviewing Mrs. Barton for my magazine writing class (which is taught by Rick Bragg! *squeal*). I won’t print it here (it’s ten pages, and I could’ve kept going), but it was the best experience. It took multiple sessions, and yes, I cried. But I also laughed and I learned so much about a person I “thought” I knew. My mother is very modest; she doesn’t talk about herself or toot her own horn, and I feel honored that she opened up to me.
I think the picture above captures my mother’s spirit. She is impeccably dressed in a Nina Ricci taffeta trumpet skirt and vintage beaded sweater. She is elegant, effortlessly so, but unaware of her glamour. And she looks forward, always to what’s ahead and not behind her. She’s been there beside me for everything, supporting me through the lowest lows and highest highs. (Remember this? She was off camera, helping me!) My mother taught my brother and me that when the rain comes and the storms of life threaten to sweep us away, we have to stay the course and keep moving. (This, from someone who walked sixty miles in the pouring rain to raise money for breast cancer research. Twice.)
Recalling the time she struck out grown men from the pitcher’s mound (in high-heeled, wedged sandals!) her son Alex said, “When you see a queen, you don’t expect her to get out in the heat and dirt, or grab a sword and swing it in battle. You don’t expect the queen to come down off her throne. Mama would be the one to wield a sword.”
A John-John, an LBD and Laura Ashley…
We love you, Mama. We SEE you. The “you” that has nothing to do with being our mom. And thank you. For everything.
Stay tuned.
Why I wear pearls…
I believe in wearing pearls. I love that they symbolize strength, struggling to transform from a tiny grain of sand while trapped inside an oyster (if that’s not a metaphor for life, what is?). But they also convey a delicate elegance. They are uncomplicated, without the flash and sparkle of a diamond or emerald, but their understated luster has an undeniable glamour as well.
It’s difficult to wear them without thinking of the “pearl of great price” mentioned in the Bible.
I wear them to remind myself of those I love: my favorites are the opera-length set I’ve “borrowed” from my mother, the bracelet with a diamond clasp my parents gave me when a special friend committed suicide and the tiny necklace I wore when I was little. But don’t get it twisted: I wear ear bobs from the Beauty Supply that cost 99 cents and a graduated necklace from Forever 21 that cost $2 too.
I also wear them to remind me what I’m worth. One year someone gave me $5 in play money to tell me how much my work was valued. Yes, I was insulted. Yes, I was very hurt. Yes, I was very, very angry. But I kept my composure, and I let those emotions irritate me enough to serve as motivation to propel myself beyond that individual’s rudeness and low opinion. The next day, I put on my mother’s pearls and faced the day with my head held high. I decided that person’s opinion didn’t define me. Lesson? Never let someone else determine your worth, especially those who seek to devalue you.
You’re priceless. Treat yourself that way, and others will too.
Who wore what where: Golden Globes 2015
Funny, I made this same expression while reviewing fashion features at last night’s Golden Globes.
I was left with the following questions:
Why white gloves, Amal?
Has anyone checked Jane Fonda’s (and for that matter, J. Lo’s) attic for a rapidly deteriorating portrait?
Why was everyone on stage sweating?
I give my gold star to Camila Alves McConaughey, in blush Monique Lhullier. An effortless breath of fresh air in the midst of so many missteps!
#thatisall
Go. See. Selma.
I rarely post on Sundays, but after watching Selma this past Friday I knew I’d have to write a review.
In short, it took my breath away.
Don’t wait for the bootleg or the hook-up. Don’t wait for it to reach your cable’s On Demand option, Redbox, Netflix or primetime cable. GO. Purchase a ticket for a matinée or evening showing and see Selma in a theater, on the big screen.
Why?
One, there is something profound about being confronted with the imagery and language at that magnitude in a darkened room. You can’t run from it. You can’t tune it out. Ava DuVernay’s masterwork envelopes you. It sweeps you off your feet and swallows you up from the opening scene.
Second, purchasing a ticket is vital because money talks. The money this film brings in will prove (or disprove) that more stories like it will draw audiences. And we need more stories – more fleshed-out versions of history and full stories about our lives that aren’t caricatures and buffoonery – on the screen.
Yes, some take issue with the film’s characterization of Lyndon B. Johnson. But that doesn’t ruin the overarching theme of Selma. I don’t hear these arguments around films or television shows like Gone with the Wind or Mad Men, pieces of pure fiction which also play fast and loose with historical characterizations (and I say that as a fan of both). If you want to review the historical record, I suggest consulting a textbook and cross-referencing it with other documents and accounts in the record (and one should even be careful there). Yes, you won’t hear Dr. King’s real speeches (due to his estate’s wishes). But DuVernay’s “reimagining” of his words doesn’t detract from the film’s emotional power. Kudos to her for also prominently featuring several of the women who were actively involved in the civil rights movement.
This film is beautifully written, acted, directed, costumed and set to music. It is like watching history unfold in front of your eyes in a way that Mad Men does: it makes you believe you have stepped back in time. Without giving the movie away, the portrayal of the relationship between Dr. and Mrs. King was refreshing and felt…authentic. You get a sense of their dynamic and their charisma, but also of the realities of their relationship. DuVernay handles sensitive subject matter masterfully: whether the scene conveyed loss, shame, heartbreak, fear or righteous anger and indignation (sometimes in rapid succession), I felt it right along with the characters.
Beyond that, Selma subtly and cleverly will make you think deeply about the situation the world is in now and wonder why collective efforts to organize or address these issues and create lasting change have failed. I think everyone should see it; however, it is rated PG-13 and includes graphic violence, so parents should think carefully about making that decision for their children.
What are you waiting for? Selma is now playing in theaters nationwide.
Watch the trailer by clicking HERE.
Images via Google
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This wig review from Evelyn from the Internets was everything I needed and then some. You’re welcome.
Same Chic Different Day will return this Thursday after my final exam is complete. One semester of graduate school down, one to go!
Xo,
Alexis
Same Chic Different Day 
