What’s Not Haute: 2011 State Farm Magic City Classic Edition

These lovelies are getting worn this weekend. Trust.

It’s time for the 2011 State Farm Magic City Classic, the 70th annual face-off between Alabama A&M and Alabama State Universities, and one of Birmingham’s most fashionable events! Whether you’re rooting for the Hornets or the Bulldogs come October 28th, here are some tips to keep you from being fashion roadkill! 

  1. LAYERWeather can change from hot to cold and back in an instant.  Shivering half-naked makes you look silly. And sweating with a coat on is unacceptable as well.
  2. Fur is FIRE (if the temperature deems it appropriate)…but please leave anything that resembles German shepherd, raccoon, or squirrel in your closet.  Better yet, trash it.  Simply put, if it looks like it can move  with you, don’t wear it!
  3. Rock boots and stiletto heels if you must, but only if you know how to walk in them. Hobbling,stumbling and/or stomping are not sexy. If you just bought them and haven’t broken them in, don’t bother.
  4. Furthermore, if your toes are hanging over the edge of your shoes, or if the heels are missing taps or look like they’ve been gnawed by a rabid animal, please don’t wear them.
  5. This is a family-friendly weekend.  No one wants to see the tattoo(s) on your exposed stomach, cleavage, or lower back. Thanks!
  6. If your ‘gators are the same color as Kool-Aid or Now&Laters, spare us.
  7. We know you’ve got school spirit, but that 1964 band sweater is not the business. Matter fact, NOTHING from 1964 is okay.
  8. No one is starching their jeans anymore, we hope! We don’t want to see any super stiff creases in your denim!
  9. If you’re wearing Spandex and are visibly pregnant, expect to be tapped on the shoulder and asked to leave.
  10. Ditto for anyone in an extra smedium vest (male or female).
  11. Wear your ice, but don’t be mad if it gets snatched. You’ve seen Birmingham on The First 48, right? Please don’t be a fashion casualty!
  12. No one wants to see your underwear (bra straps, panty lines, boxer shorts, etc.). Take our word for it.
  13. You’re not on the dance line, so why would you wear booty shorts or a leotard and fishnets to the game?
  14. If you absolutely must wear a (zoot) suit to any of the events scheduled this weekend, please remove the tag(s) from the sleeve.
  15. If your lacefront game is not up to par (and by “up to par” we mean: no visible glue tracks, it shouldn’t look like old Barbie doll hair, and it shouldn’t be perched right above your eyebrows), expect to be a topic of discussion for all the wrong reasons.
  16. Need we inform you that baby hair is for BABIES?
  17. Ladies: please keep your shoes on in the club and everywhere else for that matter. You’re welcome.
  18. Men in skinny jeans or jeggings – well, if you’re guilty of this crime you probably aren’t even reading this blog regularly – so…never mind.
  19. It’s not Halloween or Mardi Gras.  Unless you actually are Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry, or Lady Gaga, don’t show up dressed as a misguided geisha, Barbie, Smurfette, or wearing meat.
  20. Keep it chic!   One of our readers rocked a bow tie and sweater at her college’s homecoming.  Or maybe in honor of LisaRaye – this year’s ambassador – you want to try a “white haute” look. This weekend is the time to take a calculated risk, either with your ensemble or accessories!

And for more on Black college classics, check out this article by Deron Snyder at theroot.com.

Image courtesy of bloomingdales.com

11 thoughts on “What’s Not Haute: 2011 State Farm Magic City Classic Edition

  1. After you’ve defied all fashion rules during Magic City Classic weekend, where do you end up the following Monday………at the Payday Loan joint!!

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