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I wasn’t invited to Dwyane Wade’s 30th birthday bash and thank God, because what is he wearing?  A morning coat,  trinkets on his lapel, SKINNY tuxedo pants, AND what looks like Stacy Adams brogues?  Tell me not. 

The outfit sported by Wade, Rick Ross’s “grooming” and the get-ups donned by Lebron James and Chris Bosh lead me to these important points when it comes to menswear:

1.  Your wife, girlfriend, sister or mother – whatever female presence you have in your life – doesn’t love you if she lets you leave the house looking like you’re impersonating a ringmaster in a circus.  Unless of course you actually ARE a ringmaster in a circus.

2.  Lotion is a good thing.  Especially in winter.  Please moisturize your situation!

3.  Beards aren’t for everyone.            

4.  Those tiny little fedoras just look ridiculous.  They don’t make anyone look cool; they just emphasize the size of your head and remind everyone of Blossom.  Please stop trying to make them “happen.”

5. The same goes for those who insist on the “I’m so cool I have to wear a winter scarf indoors” look.

Gentlemen…how many times do I have to emphasize this point? Keep it simple!  The effortlessly debonair Cary Grant was known for wearing a gray suit, crisp white dress shirt, with the appropriate tie and shoes, and embodying the Every Man while still looking singularly suave.  Try too hard to do something “different” and you might end up doing way, way too much.

Images via YB&F