The Irony

Ohhhhhhhh—

Be juuuuust the right shade of light and dark
With natural hair that looks like weave
Or weave that looks like it’s your natural hair
Be ambitious at work but domestic at home
Honest but not direct
Smart, but not smarter than you
And never smart enough to see through you
Beautiful, but not in a way that outshines you
A workhorse who doesn’t try too hard
Be over 18 but look forever 21
Be a contender but not a threat
Be an asset but don’t ever expect reciprocity
Have a lot to offer but be willing to accept the least and last
Curvy but only in the right places
Strong enough to hold you down but ready to also be your doormat
Holy but down for whatever
A “real” woman, but not the kind with periods
Or empty wombs
A perfect lady but a ‘round the way girl
Well-dressed but not materialistic
Speak up but don’t be outspoken
Assert yourself but wait your turn
Get paid but, you know, not in an equitable manner
Of childbearing age but not with too many children or baby daddies
Independent enough not to ask for your financial support but submissive
Desired and desirable but not for the streets
Eloquent but careful of how we talk to you
Pro-Black but not militant
Refined but God forbid bougie
Down to earth but definitely not country or ghetto
Available but never thirsty
Untouchable but not frigid
Well-maintained in an effortless way…but not high maintenance of course
Well-read and awake but not vocal or opinionated
Ready to lead as long as you go first or determine the vehicle, destination, direction and speed
Equal
but
not…

Got it.

Thanks
but
no thanks.

Say something. But play nice!

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